增进友情的101

04月 11th, 2008 at 12:10am 胡戈戈 387 Views

感谢河蟹网友平静的大舌头的投递,链接 
101种骚扰同事的方法

原作者: digg  原文 译者: Cheryl  02/21/2008

  1. Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
     留一堆没用的旧软件和一张写着“安装这些”便条
  2. Staple your reports in the wrong corner
     用钉书钉订报告的时候订在错误的一角
  3. Put tape over the mouse optics
     在光学鼠标上粘上胶带
  4. Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
     拔掉某个同事的显示器接线
  5. Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
     和生病的员工讲话时带上一个防尘面具
  6. Turn your earphones up all the way
     把你的耳机音量调到最大 从早到晚带着耳机
  7. Burn popcorn in the microwave
     用微波炉爆（焦）爆米花
  8. “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
     “忘记”在冰箱里放上你的金枪鱼三明治
  9. Turn up the beep volume of the copier
     把复印机“哔”的音量放大
10. Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
     清空打印机/复印机的纸

11. Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
     倒空打印机/复印机的墨或炭粉
12. Practice beat boxing
     练习节奏口技 （拳击）（参考attaboy ,Angelo 的评论）
13. Sing show tunes
     唱舞台音乐剧
14. Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
     在对方说再见之前挂断电话
15. Slurp hot coffee during meetings
     开会的时候出声地啜热咖啡
16. Walk around the office barefooted
     光脚在办公室里四处走
17. Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
     星期五下午把某个员工的办公室清空
18. Misplace peoples pens
     把人们的笔放错地方
19. Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
     在他们打开电脑之前插进一张软盘
20. Glue their mouse to the desk
     把他们的鼠标粘在桌子上
21. Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
     在他们桌上放一只开了封的金枪鱼罐头
22. Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
     把他们的电脑桌面截成一张图，然后把这张图设成屏保
23. Turn up the contrast on their monitor
     把他们显示器的对比度调高
24. Talk in a funny accent
     用可笑的口音说话
25. Use goofy event sounds for your programs
     给你的电脑程序选用滑稽的事件提示音
26. Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
     每次收到新邮件的时候高唱“yeay,我收到了邮件”
27. Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
     打印一张假解聘通知书放到他们的信箱里
28. Send flowers from one co-worker to another
     借某同事之名送花给另一同事
29. Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
     有人经过的你的车时，用遥控器（远远的就）把你的车发动起来
30. Insist on people to have a great morning
     坚决要求人们应该有一个美好的早晨
31. Leave hole punches all over
     随处乱放打孔器
32. Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
     把你午餐过后的垃圾放进别人的罐头
33. After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
     每啜一口都来一句惬意的“啊……”
34. Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
     在别人的鼠标垫上撒盐
35. Set a password on someone’s screensaver
     给别人的屏保设置密码
36. Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
     坚持和两个隔间之外的人对话
37. Smirk when a co-worker walks by
     在一个同事经过的时候傻笑
38. Eat half of someone’s lunch
     把别人的午餐吃掉一半
39. Swap co-worker’s chairs
     调换同事的椅子
40. Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
     开会的时候假装急性肠胃炎，突然地离开三四次
41. Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
     当同事和你讲话的时候死死盯住他们的眼睛
42. Take all the ice out of the community freezer
     把公用冷藏机里的冰都拿出来
43. Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
     听搞笑段子并歇斯底里的大笑
44. Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
     离开电梯之前把所有楼层的按钮都按一遍
45. Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
     对着电话发出咝咝的声音，说是信号不好
46. Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
     把默认的鼠标左右键倒装过来
47. Take out the ball in the mouse
     取出鼠标里的滚珠
48. Eat sunflower seeds
     吃瓜子
49. Tell a long story without a point
     讲一个冗长且毫无主题的故事
50. Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
     告诉一个同事你更喜欢他们上一周时的头发
51. Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
     匿名送花给随便哪一位同事
52. Bring Cheetos for food days
     在食物交流日上带来的是Cheetos牌的零食
53. Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
     拖着脚走过大厅
54. Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
     惊叫你的同事出洗手间时没洗手
55. Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
     午饭时在你的桌上吃些臭烘烘的食物
56. Practice drumming on your desk
     在桌子上练习敲鼓
57. Use too many paper clips
     用超多回形针
58. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
     填错你的工作时间表
59. Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
     给你的手机设一个烦人的铃声
60. Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
     给同事转发连锁信和别的垃圾邮件
61. Express your political views at length
     长篇大论你的政治观点
62. Whisper loudly
     大声讲悄悄话（吹口哨）
63. Come to work sick
     生病也来上班
64. Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
     喝掉最后一杯咖啡，且不添一壶新的
65. Answer your mobile during meetings
     开会的时候接电话
66. Stand over someone while they are on the phone
     别人接电话的时候站在旁边监听
67. Sneak up behind someone
     从后面突然吓别人
68. Mess with the thermostat
     乱按一番调温器
69. Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
     冲每个经过的人作手枪射击状
70. Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
     把某人电话音量逐渐调低
71. Leave unusual print outs on the printer
     在打印机旁留几张内容诡异的打印件
72. Throw out other people’s prints
     把别人的打印件扔掉
73. Juggle office supplies
     用办公用品耍杂技
74. Write all your memos on bright colored paper
     把你所有的备忘录写在颜色刺眼的纸上
75. Be overly nice to people
     对人过分的亲热
76. Hide whiteboard erasers
     藏起白板擦
77. Chew gum whie talking on the phone
     讲电话时嚼口香糖
78. Regularly update everyone on the current weather
     定时给每个人汇报当前天气
79. Read your emails aloud
     大声读你的email
80. Leave the fridge open
     不关冰箱门
81. Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
     把冰箱里的汽水瓶摇一遍
82. Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
     在复印机（打印机的）玻璃上留下指印
83. Whistle all day long
     从早到晚吹口哨
84. Wear too much cologne/perfume
     撒过多的香水
85. Type loudly
     很响地敲键盘
86. Wear bright colored clothes
     穿颜色刺眼的衣服
87. Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
     拿电视剧里的名字给每个人起外号
88. Do the sneaky walk around the office
     在办公室里鬼鬼祟祟的走
89. Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
     向别的隔断张望，等着有人抬起头来注意到
90. Use the intercom and page yourself
     擅自使用内部电话呼叫自己和记录
91. Swap the regular and decaf coffee
     对换普通咖啡和脱咖啡因（无糖）咖啡
92. Hide the sugar and creamer
     把咖啡里加的糖和奶藏起来
93. Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
     用大写字母写email，并且用n多标点
94. Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
     称你的垃圾桶为收件箱
95. Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
     在别人办公室天花板上戳（粘）铅笔
96. Throw a bouncy ball in your office
     在办公室里扔弹力球
97. Tell the same story over and over
     一个故事翻来覆去的讲
98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
     模仿诸如打开光驱，关门，或者点击鼠标的声音
99. Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
     把你的显示器当成人一样对其讲话
100. Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
     把会议的时间定在下午4点
101. Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
     有人过来和你交谈的时候，戴着耳机大声说话。大声对着你戴的耳机讲话。

声明：使用这些方法时请自行承担风险。对于之后所发生的一切–不论是发生在你，你的隔间，还是你的车上–本人概不承担任何责任。

Tags: 友情, 骚扰 文章分类: 排行

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80后的重要任务就是制造08后 4.11朝闻道